Must read for bachelor gals and guys who r on verge of getting married..:-) njoy..
GRIHASTAASHRAMA
GRIHASTA means House-holder usually between 24 and 48 years of age. The next stage is of the householder. After the 'Gurukula Vasa' he graduates himself into the mundane world, taking a wife to assist him in his performance of Dharmic duties.
Marriage is not meant as a means to satisfy carnal craving. It is regarded as a means to spiritual glory, a sin qua non for the development of lineage - a necessary link between the dead past and an unborn future that must come alive to be undertaken as a part of spiritual duty with devotion (Shraddha) to perpetuate the family tradition.
According to Bhagavata Purana, a Griha (house) is not a person for one who has controlled his senses, delights in spirit and is eager for knowledge.f
Partners who enter in wedlock are not 'paragons of virtue' as they appear in the first flush of enthusiasm. None is perfect and to seek for perfection in the partner is like seeking a mirage in the desert.
Perfect relationship is created by conscious effort and not discovered all of a sudden. The incompatibilities have to be resolved by a continual mutual adjustment and reconciliation by a willing attitude of 'give and take'.
Marriage is marriage and is not a mere love affair which is but an infatuation. Love affair is a relationship just for the pleasure of the person involved and it has no consideration of the families of the persons. When the pleasure wears out, the affair is gone.
But, marriage is a life commitment.If you make a sacrifice, you are not sacrificing to that person. It is a sacrifice to a permanent relationship.Love bears all, endures all. If the relationship has pains, remember that life is a mixture of joys and sorrows.
The practice in India that a husband and wife could continue to remain as husband and wife till death and also celebrate the Golden jubilee of their wedding at the 60th age of the husband is still very common.
Those that end in divorce or separation are misfits for the marriage life who have no understanding of the marriage and its divinity. They fail in 'making it work' and deserve the real pain, indeed the devastating trauma attaching thereto.
The duties of the Grihasta include the performance of 'PANCHMAHAYAGNA' (five great sacrifices) laid down in MANU DHARMA SASTRA.
The wife always accompanies the husband in discharging his duties.
Marriage is no doubt, primarily for begetting children but it was also required for the proper performance of worship.
Marriage is not only a contract between individuals but a contract between families.
The difference in the family values as between those obtaining in India and in the West would reveal how different are the expectations about marriage in these two cultures.
The first three nights after marriage, the couple are expected to remain continent to impress that marriage is not a license for sexual pleasures but a holy and irrevocable contract not only between the man and wife but also casts the burden of ensuring it to be so, till the very last, on the community comprising of the families of both sides.
The husband is expected to first satisfy the wife's soul and the wife satisfies the husband with her body and gets his soul.